We all have a day where no matter how bad we want to post a status on our social media accounts, we have nothing in our minds. You keep typing what your situation will be, then erase it, then order another sentence only to delete it after and your fingers are left hanging, waiting for what will you type next.
Worry no more; we compiled different status ideas covering various subjects that will surely save your day.
Sometimes I look at people and can’t help but think… Really? That was the sperm that won.
They said to learn from mistakes, for it will teach you lessons no one else can. So that is what I am doing; I am learning from the mistakes of other people who took and followed my advice.
I am convinced that my phone is broken, I keep pressing the Home button, but I am still working.
If I am on my deathbed, my final words will be, “I left a million dollar worth of treasures in the….”
If there is no way for you to change a girl, then….better yet to replace the girl.
We live in a world where Deleting History matters most than Creating History.
If you believe that no one cares if you are still alive, try not paying your bills for a couple of months. Indeed someone from the company has to look for you.
Behind every awesome woman is a curious man looking at her bum.
My alarm clock is not the one that wakes me up; it is my pee that I cannot hold any longer.
According to religious scholars, God created the world and everything on it that has life. The rest are made in China.
For Sale: Facebook Account with over a thousand followers and likers. Freebies: Friends Included.
Everybody should learn a lesson from the weather; it does not care what random people will say. It will do whatever it wants to do.
Some people talk a lot, but they do not say much.
My body has a perfect shape. Round is a shape.
Awesome will not be completed without me.
We cannot win over life. We can only live it.
Children after 35 should be enough for every woman already. Seriously, having 35 children is not an easy task.
Stealing is not a man’s job. It is the government’s job.
We learn the rules of life at the time when we are too old to play its game.
I miss the generation of people who knocks on the door to let the house owner know that they are outside rather than sending a text or making a call.
Girls are analogous to roads. More curves mean more danger.
People said winning is not everything. My question is, why do they keep score?
Sometimes, I look up to the sky with a smile because I believe someone dear to me is looking down at me smiling too.
I don’t care if I am fat because I can lose weight anytime; you should worry more about your ugly face because it is expensive to have plastic surgery.
Plagiarism is the crime of stealing an idea from a person. Research is the act of stealing ideas from many people.
Women have a longer life than men simply because they don’t have to live with women.
The less important the job is, the longer the title.
Natural stupidity is far superior to artificial intelligence.
Common sense is the most important sense, and it is what most people lack.
Adding your mother on Facebook is like you are willingly signing your warrant of arrest.
Back in our days, Apple and Blackberry were just fruits.
I wanted to kill the most beautiful and sexiest woman alive, but suicide is a sin.
I live in a society where food delivery arrives before the ambulance.
You are a boring person if nobody hates you.
That moment when you want to ignore a call but your phone lags and ends answering it instead.
People say that I am a very quiet person. I am not quiet; I prefer to keep my mouth shut than say something awful.
Am I the only person who loves to sing along to a song but gets pissed because the artist is ruining the moment by singing the wrong lyrics?
Don’t feel bad about doing something stupid while you are young because those memories will make you smile when you get old.
The word Cool is now being used to say I don’t care politely.
I am nice to people who are nice to me. If I am rude to you, better ask yourself why.
In life, we have mistakes for us to learn its lesson.
Keep calm and enjoy every minute of your life.
I have been doing nothing for years now, so literally, nothing is possible.
Ladies First was probably created by a man who wants to check ladies’ asses.
The show must go on, so like our lives.
I’d rather have a new phone than a girlfriend because at least you get to switch off your phone.
All problems have a corresponding solution; if there is no solution to a problem, probably because it is not a problem, it is a girl.
Dear creator of the world, there is an error in the project you created called Monday.
I wish my better half is like Google, who can understand me even when I am incomplete.
I am as ice-cold as winter until summer makes me sizzling hot.
There are only two types of people; a winner who never quits and a quitter who never wins.
My parents called me and asked me how my life was. I smiled and replied. She’s at home and doing fine.
What I like the most about a new song because it never reminds me of anyone from my past.
You know you care for someone when their happiness matters the most than your very own.
They always thought I was constantly arguing; as a matter of fact, I am just explaining why I am right.
Don’t tell me that I have an attitude problem if you can’t handle my personality.
Almost everybody has an annoying friend; if you don’t have one, it is probably you.
Every day I have the privilege to see the smartest person when I am standing in front of a mirror.
My study habit includes 15 minutes for studying, 1 hour for snacking and 2 hours for break time.
Would you like to have dinner with me? A. Yes, B. (A). C.(B)
Golden Rule of Math: If you did not have a hard time finding the answer, you are doing it wrong.
Life cycle: Eat… Sleep…Regret…Repeat.
Wisdom is comparable to our underwear. It is helpful to have it, but there is no need to show it off.
Who else comes up with brilliant ideas while sitting on the toilet then forgets them as soon as you get up?
I love shopping for new things problem is I hate spending too much money.
If you cannot convince your friends, confuse them.
Don’t dare hurt me because I know Kung Fu and some other words.
I only love my job if it is payday.
I positively think that I will miss myself when I die.
No one can defeat you if you don’t give them your permission.
The war does not determine whose side is right. The only thing that matters the most is whose side is left.
Punctuality is a good working attitude; the only downside is no one is there yet to appreciate it.
I want to high a five in the face with a chair who says he does not watch television but spends 12 hours on the internet.
That moment when emojis can express their feelings better more than you do.
When I was still a kid, my ambition was to finish my studies; now that I could finish my studies, I no longer have any ambition.
Food delivery vehicles should be allowed to use a siren; technically, it is an emergency if someone is hungry.
The hardest decision that I ever had in my life was what box to click next on the minesweeper game.
Guys want the same thing from their partners that they wish to from underwear; they have some support and freedom.
One day, Teeth and Tongue had a conversation. Teeth said Tongue, just a small press from me, and I could cut you. Tongue replied, I only need to misuse one word; all 32 of you will come off your roots.
Sometimes I am too busy to develop an awesome status, so I ended up reading this one.
Crying for a person who does not give value to your tears is pointless.
I do not have an attitude problem; it’s just that they have a problem with my attitude.
Do not go back to someone with an excuse when you left without reason.
I only take responsibility for the things that I say, not for the things you understand.
I am not a perfect person, but I try to be the best version of myself each day.
That awkward moment when you arrive at your friend’s house while he is being yelled at, you just stand there pretending you don’t exist.
If you find out that you only have seven months to live, I suggest you get married right away. It will make those seven months seems like forever.
All of us are not the same person we were a year ago.
Challenging moments in our lives never last; only tough people do.
Crying is not an indication that a person is weak. Since birth, it has been a sign that you are alive and kicking.
Breakups are very much like having the worst nightmare a person can have after a beautiful dream.