Top 40 Funny Status


Life is hard, which is why it is essential to find the reason to smile. That is why we have prepared for you Funny Status quotes because you must keep on smiling and being happy for one reason. That is the way people should be.
If there is someone that you want to see laugh or smile, then this is perfect for you!
Here are some of the funniest statuses that you can try out:


If your enemies are innovative and you cannot convince them, then do your best to confuse them.


Isn’t it funny that nifty somehow ends with the word ME, whereas ugly starts with U?


Do not dare copy my status, or you will receive immediate karma.


Stop expecting the unexpected because it just makes you lucky to be expected.

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Now I believe that light travels faster than sound; after all, it makes sense that most people seems so bright until they begin to speak.


!f y0u c4n r43d the!s th3n y0u 4r3 4w3$0m3!


This pig is pig, a pig, good pig, way pig, to pig, keep a pig, a pig, idiot pig, busy pig, for pig, 30 pig, seconds pig! … Now try reading it and remove the word pig.


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Almost all people want to go to this so-called heaven, but none of them is genuinely willing to die.


Please do not argue with idiots; they will drag your brain down, almost to their level.


Sometimes, I think that a lie could have been a great story if not for the truth.


The road less travelled by might be less travelled because of a specific reason.


The 60 Funny Love Quotes


The only time where success will come before work is: the dictionary


Do not bother trying to hit kids. Why? Well, they carry guns now, and you do not want to get shot.


Funny Flirty Quotes for them


I love bookstores; they are probably one of the few pieces of evidence that people still think on their own.


Doctors say that an apple a day will keep them away but if somehow you find that your doctor is cute, then forget all about that fruit.


If someone is stuck in your mind and you cannot find a way to get them out of there, then maybe they are meant to stay there.



If you were dumb enough to let me go back then, I would be smart enough not to ever come back to you again.


I want to kill that hottest person alive, but sadly, suicide is one of the crimes I do not want to commit.


I just had to take some sick leave; I am so sick of all those people.


Okay, so I still do miss him, but I am certainly aiming to get better!


Fake Love Quotes


The pain would not quickly go away, it might take some time to remove it, but it will heal your scars.


Maybe I do not want to see that everyone is happy because I feel like happiness has left me.


Never judge someone from their looks; judge them for the way their outfit looks and where they seem to come from, and you will see how rich that person is.


Don’t judge me because of my excellent Facebook status.


Do you know the two words that all guys dislike in this world? It’s Stop and Don’t unless, of course, they are said next to each other.


Love Yourself Quotes


Do not judge someone unless you have walked at least a mile in their shoes. Only they would be barefoot and a mile away from you when you do that.


Do you know what you should get? Not a man, nor a woman but a dog. Why? Well, they are very loyal, and they also die a bit sooner.

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Forget about drinking while driving; the drink gets wasted if you spill it.


Do you want to know an excellent way to help the earth and save paper? Do not do your homework.


Have you ever thanked God yet that you have ever met such a unique and intelligent person like me?


Never think that you are some ugly person; what you should do instead is to think about yourself as a lovely monkey.


If we get into a battle, it’s either I win, or you die.

Best Funny Facebook status ever


When you win, you certainly deserve some champagne. When you lose, that is the moment you need it.


You know what? I’m such an excellent housekeeper. In every divorce I got into, I always seemed to keep our house.


Life is concise, so you might as well eat fast.


I want to congratulate you so much that my middle finger is already giving you the tallest standing ovation out of my hand.


I have always wished that history is written on paper with a pencil and not set in stone because there are some pages that I want to erase or at least tear apart.


It is hilarious how all the news in this world somehow fits in the length of a newspaper.


I have always wondered why stores that seem to have a 24/7 service still have locks on their doors.


Most of the time, it is easier to say sorry than to get their permission.


Stop taking life a little bit too seriously since you would not be getting out alive anyway.


If it is true that common sense is common, why is it that many people do not have it?


When it seems that nothing is going right, try to turn left.


Whenever I think that I have found the key to my success, it always seems to be stolen by somebody else.


Do you know what my mind is like? It is like lightning; it flashes so bright for one moment and then gone by the next.


Remember that you should not go to bed when you are mad, keep the fight and stay up.


It would help if you learned to accept exactly who you indeed are unless you are some serial killer out loose.


I wanted to but did not attend the day of his funeral, but I am assured since I sent a lovely letter that says I approved it.


If somehow, a book that discusses failure sells out well, does that mean that the book is a success?


Do you want to know why they all call it be American Dream? Simply because you need to be asleep to believe it.

20 Funny Whatsapp status messages


Forget about being open-minded. If you do it too much, your brain might fall out.


My Whatsapp status for today, only stupid people need advice.


If it seems that you cannot marry the person you truly love, then at least marry someone wealthy!


When a woman says that she is not mad at you, think of it as your dentist telling you that you would not feel the pain of pulling your tooth.


I did not become a vegetarian because I am not fond of animals. In reality, I became a vegetarian because I have a strong dislike of plants.


My ex broke up with me and then sent me pictures of her new boyfriend and her together. Do you know what I did? I forwarded the messages to her dad.


What is undoubtedly behind every great man is a beautiful woman rolling her beloved eyes.


80% of the men in this world have girlfriends; the remaining 20% have brains


My phone is super annoying. It does not let me text nor call because it has a low battery, but it has enough to keep telling me, Low battery, please charge immediately.


Never laugh at any of your wife’s choices because if you ever forget, you are one of them.


If an apple keeps the doctor away, whatever happens to the doctor’s wife?


I have the perfect amount of money to spend for the rest of my awesome life unless I decide to buy something.


I have always dreamt about being a billionaire just like my father does. He dreams about it too.


At the very least, mosquitoes seem to be attracted to me.


I believe that God is very creative. After all, look at my face.


When you are supposed to stay quiet, everything suddenly seems funnier.


I kind of love living in this world full of fantasies, so as much as possible, please do keep your reality far, far away from my world.


It is not possible to buy love, but you still have to spend some money on it.


I am so available! Would you please keep on disturbing me?


There are times when all you need is to feel loved. Hahahaha. I was kidding; you certainly need the money more.


I have always wished that there is an extra day between Saturday and Sunday to extend my weekend.


Often, I talk to myself to assure that I am talking to an intelligent species.


Do you want to know the only problem with your face? You do not seem good at hiding it.


I am sorry; it seems that I have over-estimated the extent of your brain cells.


When you see people talking about you behind your back, the best thing to do is fart.


You think I am sarcastic, but it just so happens that my intelligence is far beyond yours.


My ex-boyfriend has this super annoying habit of breathing.


I am totally in shape! Can you see it? I’m round.


Do you want to hear a funny thought? If the world did not continue sucking, we would all eventually fall out.


I may be a bit overweight, but fat is nothing; I can quickly lose some weight, but your face has no hope of changing.


They say that knowledge is power and power is corrupting, so keep on studying hard so you can become evil.


Do you want to know what they call the winner of a rat race? A rat.


I am so not last; I am just on what is better known as an energy-saving mode.


If he only wants your thighs, your legs and your breasts, then just let him go to KFC.


When someone says Good morning on a Monday, slap that person.


Nobody needs a television anymore, especially when there is Facebook.


Conserve water and drink beer.